From High Up in My Ivory Apartment

I wouldn’t call myself a slacker. I wouldn’t because I know, deep down, that I’m not. I’m busy with work, I have a(n admittedly mellow) social life, I keep my house (relatively) clean and tidy, and I do my best to keep up with the goings on in the world. Even so, I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to being well acquainted with the “meh, good enough” half-hearted shoulder shrug. It would also be a lie to tell you that the shrug is a rarity in my world.

Most of the time I don’t mind the shrug. In fact, I’ve been working to embrace the shrug because being able to say “at least I tried,” or “that’ll do; it doesn’t have to be perfect” is something that I think is important to be able to do.

Then there are nights like last night and days like today. There are days when the emotions run high and it feels like we’re all hanging on by the thinnest of threads. We watch as a too-smug Prosecutor announces that the State will not be charging the police officer who murdered an unarmed man. We watch as he blames the victim, the crowds of protesters, the media and everybody except the man who actually wielded the gun. We watch as police officers fire tear gas into crowds of peaceful protesters and as the media choose to focus primarily on the few not-so peaceful protestors who decided to take their frustrations out on their surroundings. We watch and we read because it feels like changing the channel, closing the tab or turning the page feels like turning our backs. Choosing to focus elsewhere feels like saying “you are not as important as this other trivial thing.” It feels like flaunting the fact that we can choose whether or not we pay attention to those for whom that same choice is, at best, a pipe dream.

So we keep watching. We watch from our safe and warm homes and we are keenly aware of how privileged and lucky we are to not be out on the street, trying to stay safe, fighting for our lives at every moment of the day and it hurts. It hurts because if we could take some of that luck and privilege and just hand it over to someone who needs it, we would do it. We would hand it over so fast.

And then we feel guilty for hurting because who are we to hurt? We’re warm and safe and fed and our pets are snuggling and oh poor us, high up in our ivory apartments, we have to feel things! Life is so hard when you have to feel things!


There are, of course, ways that we can help. We can donate books and funds to the Ferguson library. We can write to our local and leaders and representatives and beg for a body camera for every police officer. We can donate to rebuilding funds and to funds to help the people arrested during the protests. We can speak out against racism and be good allies to those who need us. There are lots of things we can do and even when we do all of them, they never feel like enough. They never feel like enough because they aren’t enough. They might never be enough, but they are better than nothing.

There is something very wrong with the world when “well, it’s better than nothing” is the best that most of us can do.



I just can’t. My heart is full and none of the things it is feeling are good.

And somehow my Facebook feed is full of pictures of people’s dinners.

Sunday is For…

Sunday is for lounging on my couch and eating Chex Mix while watching Master Chef Jr.

Sunday is for tossing quarters to Poppy who is happy to bat them all over the place before she squirrels them away (currently under a pillow that is sitting on the floor) to save for later.

Sunday is for doing all of the laundry at once so that it can just be done and I can give in to the sloth without feeling guilty (this is one of the benefits of living in this apartment building: lots of machines instead of just one).

Sunday is for reading one of the many books sitting on my shelf or in my Kindle.

Sunday is for Molly’s birthday! My friend Molly has completed another lap around the sun and to celebrate I think you should pre-order her new album!

Sunday is also for Scott’s birthday! Scott, like Molly, has lapped the sun again and he has some super great musics that deserve a spot in your collection.

Exercising Update

I have now exercised (on purpose, not as part of my usual “look at me walk to the store and then carry stuff home!” routine) for eight days in a row. Today, when I get around to actually doing the workout, will be the ninth day and I thought it might be a good time for an update.

So far? I’m happy with this app. I like that I can actually do all of the different exercises that it has introduced so far. I like that they are called things like “Supermans” and “Dead Bugs” even more. I like the ones that let me lie (lay?) down most of all. I also appreciate that so far I’ve been able to complete the workouts in their entirety. I get a little shaky/wobbly by the end, but I haven’t had any muscles or limbs totally give out prior to finishing a workout yet. This is doing good things for my general confidence levels.

The only problematic thing is the math. I’m not a math genius by any means; my skills cap out somewhere in the basic-medium algebra level of mathing. This means that I am able to do the math on the workout to find out how many of each thing I am going to be doing. This wasn’t a big deal during the first few workouts but last night, when it told me to do ten rounds of ten squats and ten (modified) push ups I realized that it was telling me to do a hundred squats and a hundred (modified) push ups. And that? Was intimidating. It was almost intimidating enough to get me to skip the workout altogether.

But I didn’t. I completed it. I completed it without collapsing on the floor or barfing up my spleen or losing control of…things. I completed it and was still able to walk around afterwards. I did a hundred squats and a hundred (modified) push ups. I, the person who really would rather sit as close to completely still as possible most of the time, did literally hundreds of exercisey things. On purpose.

What I’m saying is that I have earned this Gilmore Girls marathon. And that I haven’t worked up the nerve yet to see what tonight’s workout will bring.

Over the River…

I left the apartment today. On purpose and everything…and not just to run to the grocery store. In fact, I didn’t just leave my apartment. I left my neighborhood. No, wait: I even crossed the river (this is something only Portlanders will probably get). AND the thing that I went to, that was on the opposite side of the river? It was not even geeky or nerdy.

I know. I don’t really recognize me right now either.

TGIT Winter Finale Night

And now, happy readers, I present to you a (spoiler free, thank you very much) reenactment of my experience viewing the winter finales of Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal and How to Get Away With Murder:


Poppy Outtakes

I thought it would be fun, given Poppy’s music video debut yesterday (yes I know there are MANY other critters debuting in that video too, but it’s my blog so…yeah), to share some of the photos that did not make the final cut.

I posted this photo on Twitter because even though it's blurry, it's still super cute.

I posted this photo on Twitter because even though it’s blurry, it’s still super cute.





It quickly becomes clear that I should not pose with Poppy for these photos.

It quickly becomes clear that I should not pose with Poppy for these photos.


Ooh, so close!

Ooh, so close!


Almost perfect, but not quite! (Someone is quickly losing patience with me)

Almost perfect, but not quite! (Someone is quickly losing patience with me)

Media Tuesday Volume 1 (and Possibly Only?)

Remember the last minute photo shoot I had with Poppy? Her final photo made it into The Doubleclick’s new video! Yay! You can catch her (appropriate, given the word) face at 2:35.


I love this video so much! It contains so many people and pets I love!

And, because I’ve declared it Media Tuesday, I have to share this next thing too because YOU GUYS MY FRIEND JOSH WROTE A MOVIE AND NOW IT’S REAL. CHECK IT OUT.

It’s been such a great day for media and my friends!

One of the things I love most about my job is just how random it can be sometimes. On any given day I’m as likely to write about car insurance as I am about current events or fashion (shut up, I know how to Google) or…you get the idea. This means that I get to learn about a whole bunch of different stuff that I would never have thought to look up on my own and occasionally I stumble across something really great.

Today that really great something was the discovery that Netflix has commissioned an original VeggieTales series called “In the House.”

I am So Excited For This.

Sitting around in our teensy apartment living room and watching VeggieTales videos is one of my most fun memories from college. My two roommates T was the first to discover them–she got turned on to them in one of her teaching credential classes–but she wasted no time in getting our other roommate and I hooked on them. We loved those videos. We watched them over and over again and memorized the songs and would sing them at each other all the time.

I know that sitting in my own living room and bribing the cat to snuggle with me is not going to be the same as when my roommates and I would crash on the couch to watch the French Peas dump slushees on Larry the Cucumber et al for the dozenth time. Even so, that’s okay. I have no doubt that I will have a good time watching those crazy fruits and veggies tell stories and sing silly songs.

And now, just because it’s fun:

Almost Lazy But Not Quite

I was going to get up and do laundry and get work done and do some exercising and eat a healthy dinner and go to bed at a reasonable hour because adulting. Trying to do it right.

Instead, I slept in by almost three hours, did a small amount of grocery shopping, and trudged through laundry while watching a Gilmore Girls marathon.  The dinner I am making is….well…it isn’t totally unhealthy. I mean, sure, it’s pretty close (God bless you, butter) but there is protein and nutrients in there somewhere. And there is still time for exercising and a reasonable bedtime.

Good intentions are so tasty.

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