So I was going to write a whole post about how yesterday Will and I spent most of the day fighting with each other over text messages about our bills and how we manage money and whether or not you can pay the Target card on the day that the bill is due and not get charged a late fee (short answer: yes, by 5PM Central Time).  I’ve been reading the different posts that Jennie has been writing in her Real Marriage series and was inspired to do scenes from my own very real and, if we’re being honest, a lot harder than either of us thought it would be first year of marriage.  After all, who can’t identify with having money arguments with a spouse or significant other?  But! On Monday, I will be writing a post for this month’s Femme Writes series.  The topic is body image and the post I have in mind  is something that I have been meaning to write about for YEARS–almost since I started writing a blog (lots of reasons have made me keep it to myself, but what better excuse to put it all out there?).

I figure that two kind of serious posts bookending a holiday weekend would be a little too much downer sauce so! You get this post instead!  In which I tell you about how today Will accidentally forgot to hang up after a he called me from work (about something totally not that important).  And I got to hear him order milkshakes for his coworkers and then take those milk shakes to his coworkers and hand them out and I got to hear him talk with one of his male coworkers about his ideal mate and boobs and doing certain activities in certain lady special areas and certain experiences there.  The whole time I am yelling into my phone “YOU FORGOT TO HANG UP YOUR PHONE!”  and “HELLOOOO WIFE IS LISTENING TO YOU!!!”  but he couldn’t hear me.  I know I could have just hung up on my own, but what would be the fun of that?  Finally, a few minutes later it got a little quiet on his end of the line (or signal, since we were on cell phones) and I yelled into the microphone at the top of my lungs “YOOOOOOUUUUUR PHOOOOOOONE IS STILL OOOONNNNNNNNNN!”

There was some fumbling sounds and then an incredulous “are you still there??? I thought I hung up the phone a long time ago!”  and I got to reply…

“So.  How many really tall, 105 pound, big boobed, pale skinned, green eyed brunettes have you been motor boating lately?”

(To be clear: am not mad at all and I know he hasn’t actually been doing nefarious things behind my back but still…would you pass up a moment like that one?)