The weather here today has been…Sybil esque.  It was bright and shiny and nice this morning.  And since then it has just been a mess of rain! hail! sun! too hot! too cold! wind! rain! sun! hail! is that snow?!? rain! sun! heat wave! omg it’s freezing! rain! HUGE FLASH RAINSTORM! happy spring sun! It’s exhausting.  And irritating.  I am soaked to the bone because I tried to run to the library and back during one of the flashes of niceness and caught caught in a downpour of “is that an ark?!?” proportions on my way back through downtown.

Speaking of the library?  I really should not be allowed inside of one without responsible adult supervision.  Between the Multnomah County Library and the Beaverton City Library?  I have somewhere in the neighborhood of eighteen books checked out.  And around 20 on reserve.  Because I can do that over the internet and Amazon’s suggestions are dirty dirty mistresses of my too busy schedule.

I am behind on a project.  I do not like being behind on projects.  I solve this problem by blogging from Starbucks instead of working from Starbucks and making myself feel incredibly guilty for neglecting my project that I am behind on while simultaneously making myself happy and fuzzy because I heart blogging and even when I post an entry that is pure crap I think “yay! I blogged!”

I am at Starbucks today because the weather is pissy and I had a book in at the Beaverton City Library so I told Will that I’d glady pay for today’s parking so that he wouldn’t have to take the train in our Sybilesque weather if we could swing by the library first before we came into town.  That visit took longer than planned too but it wasn’t my fault.  It was the lady who was checking out at the self check ahead of me.

Proper Library Etiquette according to me:  If you are checking out half the library (something I too have done before), run your books through the self check, pile them up, carry them out of the way and THEN arrange them in your bag.  Do not run them through the self check and then plunk your bag down on top of the self check pad and spend a gazillion years arranging your book transport apparatus right there and then.  It holds up the line as you try not one, not two, not three but FOUR different configurations.  Roar. Also? Yes lady those TEN people in line were all sighing because of YOU.  The other self check had a toddler who was trying to help his mother–a toddler who looked at all of us in line and shouted “sowwy! I hewping! Done soon!”

Also? That kid? Made my uterus freakin’ ache.

I have made Will, in spite of himself, a fan of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  While we disagree about our favorite characters (me: Spike, him: Anya) we are both very much looking forward to going home tonight and finishing up Season 5.  Hooray for Netflix Watch Instantly on the PS3!

Yay! I Blogged!

In the interest of putting blogging first, I am now creating this here blog post before I dig in and get some work done.  And before I say anything, let me say this: look at my pretty new theme!

This is a pre-made theme by Splendid Sparrow that I have done some tweaking to (nothing major, just a couple of color changes).  It is the very first blog theme that I have ever paid for and I am kind of in love with it.  I went back to the three column layout because I’m hoping that I can stick some ads into that there left sidebar without it being too intrusive or annoying.  I’m not done tweaking yet.  I do want to change a couple of things (new twitter and facebook buttons, etc) but for the most part: pretty! Yay! Luv!

Beyond my being in love with my new theme, however, I have to admit that I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.  So I took a nap after Will left for school.  And then I woke up on the wronger side of the couch (and this is in spite of waking up to find the cat snuggled up to me which usually gives me lots of warm fuzzies).  So I came into downtown to work from Starbucks.  Because? It quickly became apparent that if I stayed at home my day would devolve into a day spent shouting at the furniture.

What? Don’t you do that too when you’re mad and nobody is home?

Shouting at the furniture is kind of how I release my tension and irriation.  It is my version of punching a pillow instead of punching a person.  I pretend that the person I am mad at is sitting on our futon and I let them have it.  Loudly.  That’s right.  I actually do lecture and hound and yell at my furniture.  Out loud.  Because sitting and thinking it doesn’t get it out.  Talking loudly and waving my arms around in what can only be described as an erratic Richard Lewis fashion, believe it or not, really helps.  Yes, it makes me look like a deranged lunatic but that’s okay because nobody is around when I do it.

You know how it goes:  you get into a discussion with someone or an argument with someone and you bite back half of the things you want to snap out because you know that you’ll probably regret saying them as soon as they leave your mouth.  And then, half an hour after the “discussion” is finished you think of dozens of fantastic retorts and counter arguments but you don’t say those either because you don’t want to re-start the “discussion.”  And then you sit and you stew and you get more and more mad because you’re working yourself up and you know that you’re working yourself up but you can’t make it stop but you also don’t want to let any of your workedupness out because that would totally make the situation worse, so you bite it back and it just…festers.

Some people take this festering boilling energy and exercise.  Some write in journals.  Some paint or do other arty things.  Some clean.  I wait until I am at home alone and then I unleash it all.  Out loud.  To the empty air.  Or, you know, the furniture.  And after a while I start to feel better and I start to feel rational again.  And then life can go back to being merry because I got all of my bile out without it causing a bunch of problems and it is no longer festering around inside.  Everybody wins.

But I already spent one day this week yelling at the furniture.  Kind of all day.  And I can’t really afford to lose another entire day to that.  So I came into town.  Because being out of the house can also help gain some perspective.  And downtown has the Panda Kitchen and it’s addictive beef and broccoli.  So here I am.

That was really long winded.

So why am I so irritated and festering?  I am not entirely sure.  I don’t know if it is that I have completely fallen off of my caffeine free wagon and started imbibing the Pepsi again.  I’ve noticed that, since upping my caffeine intake (it’s a long story but don’t worry, I’m not hurting anything.  Our procedure failed again this month) I’m higher strung.  And I’ve noticed that I jump to annoyance and irritation easier than I did before. So it might be that.

It might be that, since Will finished his FE exam, we’ve gone back to a six hours of sleep a night schedule which effs with my equilibrium (I do not do tired well).  I’m going back to taking naps in the morning to get in my extra couple of hours, which means I start my day later which means I have less time to get stuff done, which irritates me and puts me on edge.

It might just be that, since the FE exam my lovely husband, who I do truly adore and love more than anybody on earth and cannot live without, has been WAY more annoying than usual. He’s usually pretty fantastic, so his being annoying is probably other people’s “that’s just normal boys are stupid stuff” so I probably shouldn’t complain.

I don’t know.

You know, you’d think that I’d have a better way of ending this post than just the stopping of my typing but I really don’t.  Except to say: what do you think?  Thoughts? Insights? Want to vent a little bit so I can be distracted by whatever is eating you?  The comments section is wide open people.  Let’s take advantage of that!

I’m in one of those frustrating places.  You know the kind: where your brain knows what you have to do to get to where you want to go.  You can see the steps laid out in front of you and you know that all you have to do is follow them and you should end up with what you want.  But when you set out, you get distracted and then you start to procrastinate and then, before you know it, you’re up to your hairline in something else and wondering “how the hell did I get bogged down with this when that is what I want to do?”

I don’t talk about work too much on this blog.  Because, hi, I list this blog on my professional site and it would be kind of stupid to talk about work here when potential clients are checking out this site and saying “look at the typos!”  But here’s the thing:  About a month ago I found a really awesome client.  A REALLY awesome client.  Who has a boatload of work for me.  Which I enjoy.  I like the client.  I like the work I’m doing for that client.  I hope that I get to keep working with this client.  The money is good, the client is fun and the project is not something that is so far out there that I want to bang my head against the desk (some of the things I’ve worked on would boggle your head).   But while the work is good, there is a lot of it.  There is 7,500 words a day worth of it.  And while I enjoy the subject I’m writing on and it is something that I know a lot about (finally), it turns out that after a day spent churning out 7,500 words, there is not a lot of brain power left over for fun blogging.  Pretty much all I’m capable after that is sitting on the couch and thinking “………” until its time for bed.

But! I love my blog! I love writing for, well, at this point probably mostly relatives (hi Mom!).  Blogging is what I want to do.  Blogging is how I’d like to earn my living (who among us doesn’t have that goal?).  I know the steps I need to take to make that happen.  I know that I need to put more effort into this site and the other personal projects I’m planning.  I know that I need to get into a regular posting schedule.  I need to participate more on the blogs I read.  Blah blah,you know the drill.  So! on Monday, when I was having lunch and a chat (sooooo fun btw) with Wendy, I realized that there is a simple fix to my situation: blog first and then tackle my 7,500 words.  And I sat down to do just that.  But then I remembered that there were dishes to be done, a living room to be picked up, a bed to be made, a bathroom that needed cleaning and a 24 page fax that needed to be sent.  And now I’m sitting here, looking at the time and thinking “wow, I need to get to work or I’ll be up until midnight.”

See?  I know what I need to do, but I get distracted.  And procrastinate.  And then I end up in an “I’ve chopped off my own feet so I could look at the bottom of them better and now I can’t walk” situation.

So, um, I better get to work.  Maybe I’ll have better luck tomorrow.

Does anybody else out there have this problem?

Has this week been “off” for anybody else?

E-gad!

So Thursday night my computer started doing this weird Blue Screen of Death thing.  And Will spent an entire evening fixing my netbook so that I could continue to use it.  And since then I’ve been very nose-to-the-grindstoney because I needed to catch up on a project.

I’ve been Internet SILENT.  I haven’t been blogging, twittering or facebooking.  It has been odd and kind of boring and kind of liberating at the same time.  But I have missed my little bit of daily social interaction and should be back to normal soon.

Today? I spent $15 on pretty smelling soap on a whim.  And I got four bottles of it (and a bottle of body spray) for that price because it was all on sale for $2.99 at Fred Meyer.  I won’t have to buy soap for months.  MONTHS.

I did not end up cooking last night.  I lost the urge around seven or so when I asked my husband if he was hungry yet (we had big lunches) and he said “not even a little bit.”

Meet my husband–the man who has the digestive system of a snake.  The dude could eat a tic tac on Monday and still feel full on Friday.

I wasn’t about to make all of that food just for myself (especially since I don’t actually liked mashed potatoes and was only going to make them because they had been requested).  So the chicken went into the fridge to be kept until tonight.

And that’s okay because I didn’t really read the directions for the Pioneer Woman’s recipe until late yesterday afternoon–and the first thing it says is to marinate the chicken in buttermilk overnight.  Oops.

So tonight we will be making the Better Homes and Gardens fried chicken recipe (because I kind of did not have time to set up a marinade for the chicken before I left the house this morning), corn on the cob and mashed potatoes.  Maybe.  It depends on how this afternoon and evening go.

In other news, I am downtown for the third time this week.  Monday was planned.  Tuesday was a whim.  Today is annoying.  I’m not here because I particularly wanted to be.  I’m here because Will ran down the battery on his phone super early today and needed his charging cord that was sitting on his nightstand and because I am one hell of an awesome wife.

Also–if you get a chance, stop by Pause || Comma.  It’s a brand spankin’ new blog started by one of my old high school pals who finally decided to join the blogosphere.

There are lots of things making me cranky today.  The biggest being that I have all sorts of great blog post ideas and zero time to do anything about them.

*sigh*

This looks lame but trust me, the material inside my brain? Is effing insightful, yo.

Too bad the day got away from me and I still have a mountain of work to do–that I need to get done in just a couple of hours.

The good news?  Tonight’s dinner is going to consist of the Pioneer Woman’s fried chicken, corn on the cob and mashed potatoes.  I am really really looking forward to my dinner.

I have always been a Big Fan of public transportation.  Heck, I’m 31 years old and I only have my driver’s PERMIT.  I better be a big fan of public transportation.  The PT system here in Portland was one of the major factors in Will’s decision to attend PSU instead of OSU (the biggest reason being that we already had friends here).  I love that I do not need to wait for Will to be free to come in to downtown or to visit my friends or to go, well, anywhere in the PDX metro area.  I can go to the mall by myself if I want.  I can even go all the way to Vancouver on my own if I want.  I love the freedom of not having to rely on my husband to get me out of the house each day (the fact that I live in a neighborhood in which everything I need is just a couple of blocks from my front door doesn’t hurt this either).

I tell you this so that you will understand why I am a little bit ashamed of myself today.  I have library books due this week–quite a few of them in fact and, rather than take the train in on my own on their due date, I asked my husband to drive to school today so that I could return those books without having to take the train.  Because I felt too lazy to lug that bag of books all the way to the train.

But mostly because I didn’t really want to spend an hour of my life on the train riding into and then back out of downtown.  Because?  I ended up walking further with that bag of books today than I would have if I had taken public transportation to the library. True story.  And it was kind of sprinkling and raining.

And the weirdest thing? I like the train.  Its peaceful.  Even when it’s super crowded, if I can find a seat I enjoy being on the train.  I keep saying that my idea of a great afternoon would be getting a book and then riding the train all the way out to IKEA, having some lunch (woohoo $2.99 Pasta Alfredo!) and then riding the train all the way home–reading the whole time.

Thank god we have free parking today (and for the rest of the week if we want it).

When I worked out in the world I had a pretty kick ass immune system.  I rarely got sick and I almost never came down with anything that was too strong to keep me from working or going about my day.  I mean, sure, I was a BIG believer in over the counter antihistamines and decongestants but still…. the bugs that were strong enough for those things?  I got sick like, MAYBE once a year.  And it was usually after every single other person I worked with had come down with something and gotten better.  I admit.  I was a little bit proud of my “I’ve never missed a day of work” streak (seriously–that thing was almost a decade long by the time I left my last day job to start freelancing).

Now that I work from home?  I catch every last stupid cold that Will brings home.  Every. Single. One.  It has become a pattern.  He picks up something at school or work, lays around for a few days moaning and groaning and then just when he starts to feel better, BAM! I’m laid up with it.  For twice as long.

This? Is so not fair.  Not that I want him to be sick, of course, but that my immune system has wussed out on such a grand scale.

The latest thing is this weirdo sinus condition that we’ve got.  Will got back from Arizona and, almost immediately, started snuffling and sniffling.  We figured it was allergies and a reaction to the two extreme climate changes he’d been through in a week’s time.  Will insisted that he didn’t feel sick but it wasn’t long before we found ourselves standing in front of the nasal spray selection at Target.  Will’s eyes were running and he just looked…miserable.  He described the thing as “I feel like I’m always just about to sneeze!”

He? Wasn’t kidding.  By last Friday I was looking at our nasal spray (something we both hate with a fiery passion btw, so you know that our situation was desperate) and saying “what do you mean only two doses in 24 hours?”

This thing? Is a bitch and a half.  It really is like you are always always just about to sneeze.  Complete with the runny eyes and the tingling sensation and even that little bit of stinging that comes right before the “achoo!”  And the worst part is that it only affects one side of your face at a time.  And it switches.  So just when you think “oh, it’s getting better!”  the other side of your face starts to feel clogged and tight and tingly and all the rest of it.  Sometimes it feels like there is a giant boulder of hardened sinus goo trying to force itself out.  And you just know that if that thing would find its way out of your face already you would feel fine.  And it is a convincing enough feeling that you find yourself looking at a pair of tweezers and thinking “I wonder….”

For the last few days I’ve felt okay with taking Sudafed PE and the nasal spray to help combat this.  But now–it’s starting to be “Trying” time again so I’m hesitant to take anything.

So if you see some blond girl walking around with a runny eye and nose and she looks like half of her has been crying–don’t worry.  It’s just a sinus infection.