Dear Men:

When it’s three in the morning and your fiance wakes you up for a hug because she can’t sleep because you told her (right before falling asleep) that you might be starting your honeymoon a few days late (which means cutting it almost in half) so that you two can spend time with your father (who you have spent more time  with over the last twelve months than every single other person in her family combined in the five years that you have been together) and, after she tells you how she feels she says “I’m sorry I’m such a selfish bitch” and bursts into tears the correct response is not “it’s okay, you’re hormonal and can’t help it.”

In fact, just about anything in the world is a better response than that.

You’re welcome.