Dear….Someone,

Please hire me to write witty witticisms about my daily life for large sums of money.  ‘Cuz I? Kind of rock and I can be funny and…you know.  So…yeah! Hire me! Woo!

In other news: have you seen my focus? I seem to have misplaced it.

Today is the day of the self imploding spiral.  I have a project that I want to work on (thankfully it is not due any time soon otherwise I would not be able to be blogging right now) but can’t get my brain to focus on it.  I’ll write for a while and decide that I hate the approach I’m taking and erase everything I’ve just written.  Then I’ll get irritated with myself for not being able to get anything written.  Then, because I’m irritated with myself for not getting anything written I have a harder time concentrating on the project.  And then, because I’m having a harder time concentrating on the project I have a harder time pushing aside the frustration, which just makes me madder at myself.  So I take a minute or two to stare out the window, take a few deep breaths and relax.  Then I will write something, decide I hate it, erase it all and the process starts all over again. Thank goodness this is all done on computer now because otherwise I’d have the EPA all over me for single-handedly deforesting half the continent (but while I’m thinking about it,  note to self: buy printer paper because we are out).

I have been doing this since 9:30 this morning.  It is almost three in the afternoon. My brain is reaching is max capacity for self loathing and frustration.

Everybody has days like this at work no matter what kind of job they have.  We all have the “I just want to put my head down” days.  And, as I mentioned, my project is not due any time soon so I don’t have the added looming deadline pressure.  I am also lucky enough to not have a boss who peers over my shoulder or give me grief about not meeting a quota (thank God because I’m really good at doing that to myself so no outside assistance is necessary).

It is days like this that I wish I had the time/income to really just concentrate on blogging and writing funny essays and things that I like.  That is what I really want to do (watching Sex and the City does not help with this whole “being a columnist would so rock” dream) but paying the bills has to come first and right now paying the bills means ghostwriting and content producing for others.  So far nobody has said “Erin, we want to pay you a giant sum of cash just to write about your life.  Go to it!” so, my little plea for wealth and fortune to be narcissistic on paper stands.

Check it out! I just brought this blog post full circle!

Also? up there? just now? I spelled “said” as “sayd.”  I think that is a sure sign that I should chalk today up to a no go. I mean really.  I give up on today.