Even though Will and I did exactly zero taxing activities yesterday¹ today I find myself completely and totally exhausted.  It’s four o’clock and people? I need a nap.

I meant to get together with Wendy for some lunch and Chick Talk today but Wendy’s daughter has a stomach bug (poor kid) so Wendy and I decided to postpone our “oh my god it’s been so long since we had a chance to really talk!” chick talk until next Monday.

When I realized that I had a completely open Monday afternoon I decided to get some extra work done because, well, nobody ever gets hurt by working ahead right?

Before I could get my extra work done, however, I needed to go to the library to return some books that were almost overdue and to pick up some books that I had requested.  I think you can see where this is going.

People, I have something of a library….problem.  It’s the freeness of the books.  I cannot help but go a tiny bit crazy when I go to the library downtown.  The thing is three stories tall and takes up an entire city block.  It is ginormous and full of good things to read and it is not unheard of for me to go in and come out with so many books that I need extra bags to carry everything home.  Thankfully this time all eight books fit into my backpack but still.  And then, because I was downtown and I was STARVING, I decided to grab some lunch before I came home.

I ate at McDonalds.  It was yummy.  Time will tell whether that was the best or the worst decision of my day.

So…yeah.  I went crazy at the library which meant that my “quick trip”² to downtown was not quick at all.  And while I had plenty of energy walking back from the train (my iTunes’ “shuffle songs” setting is having a rare day of brilliance) as soon as I got inside? I totally crashed.

CRASHED.  Crashed as in, “oh I would turn on the television but reaching for the remote is so hard! And I’m so tired!  And nobody should have to reach that far³ when they are this tired!  I need a nap!  All of this thinking of reaching and my exhaustion has made me even more tired!” Because I? am pathetic when I am tired and crashing.

Here’s the thing: Going to the library was not that hard.  It was actually easier than usual because I looked up all of the topics I wanted to read about first and wrote down the call numbers of the books that looked the most interesting and simply went and found them (as opposed to my usual approach which involves just wandering up and down the stacks and pulling out whatever looks interesting).  McDonalds isn’t that far away from the library (about six or seven blocks) so I didn’t do a lot of extra walking around with a heavy bag.  I got a full night’s sleep last night (I slept so hard I didn’t move at all).

What gives?  Is anybody else having this issue today?  Is it just a “case of the Mondays?”

Will and I have spent the weekend happily lazing around the house.  We had finished all three seasons of How I Met Your Mother by three AM today and then after sleeping in (sort of, Will was up by 9AM), we curled up on the couch to play around with the Premium Channels’ On Demand lineups.  Will played WoW, I finished a scarf (which ended up being a couple inches thicker than I had originally intended, whoops) and, generally, it has been a marvelous lazy weekend.

Hey guess what, Will is reading over my shoulder! Hi Will!  He says: “Boobies.” to all of you out there on the internets.

Tomorrow I am supposed to get together with my friend Wendy for some lunch and some Chick Talk and I am very much looking forward to it.  It has been quite a while since I had a good dose of Chick Talk!

And, honestly, that’s about all that there is to report from the weekend.  A lot of laziness, a lot of television and movie watching, a lot of WoWing and a lot of crochet.

How was your weekend?

Will and I spent the morning watching How I Met Your Mother on DVD.  Yes, yes, we are just a few years late to the party on this one.  Also? I think Will is developing a bro-crush on Jason Segal.  He won’t admit to it of course, but I’m pretty sure that the crush is there.

I have been battling sugar ants in my kitchen since we got back from Texas.  Okay, actually, they made a brief appearance a couple of weeks before we left but I cleaned the crap out of my kitchen and they disappeared.  In the last couple of weeks they’ve come back.  The insurgence is small–only a few ants at a time and in spite of my best efforts (including dousing my entire kitchen in vinegar yesterday afternoon) they keep coming back.  Suggestions?

I spent last evening crocheting.  And this morning I practiced my knitting.  The more I crochet and knit the more I want to do it.  It’s so much fun to make stuff and to have something to do with my hands while Will and I are watching television.  I figure I’m not too far away from buying my first hot glue gun and becoming a regular at JoAnn’s fabrics.  I never would have thought that I’d turn into a crafts fan but…here I am!

I took a few quizzes on Facebook today, to kill some time, and according to Facebook I have the open sexuality of Angelina Jolie (yeah I laughed pretty hard too) but the movie that best illustrates my life is Dumb and Dumber.  Go figure.

It always takes a couple of weeks to figure out a new routine when Will starts a new semester at school.  I’m thinking that, for the next few months anyway, my best work days are going to be Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday when Will is out of the house for most of the day.  Whenever he and I are home at the same time…neither of us can get anything done.  Somehow we end up sitting on the couch and accomplishing exactly nothing.  I’m not sure exactly how that happens, but it does!

In addition to possibly opening an Etsy shop, I’ve started thinking about whether or not I want to put ads back on this blog and possibly do some paid posting.  I don’t plan on ever going back to the level of paid posting that I used to do, but seeing as how it could bring in some extra income…I think it is worth exploring.  I don’t want to become a total ad whore, so I’m going to do quite a bit of research before I decide which ad companies and types of paid postings I will do.  There are quite a few bloggers that I admire that have managed to integrate advertising and sponsorhips without sacrificing the integrity pf their sites. And, of course, I will always tell you guys when a post I’ve done has been sponsored.

I had originally hoped that Will and I would get out of the house this weekend.  The weather is supposed to be pretty nice.  Now that we have three seasons of How I Met Your Mother on DVD I do not actually see us leaving the house.  But that’s okay, that means that there is more time to play with yarn!

I bought the sixth season of Friends on DVD the other day (Target has THE BEST sales, we bought three seasons of How I Met Your Mother for $13 each!).  During one of the episodes Joey and the hot dancer roommate are knitting potholders and, for the first time since Texas, I got a “yarrrrrrrrrrrrrrn” growl in my craft-consciousness.  Now all I want to do is sit around and crochet or knit and just…make stuff.  I think I’m turning into a Crafter.

Of course, the responsible part of me said that I had to get some work done before I could play with my yarn and that got me thinking.  Thinking about Etsy.  And whether or not it would be worth the time and the effort to open my own Etsy shop.  Don’t worry, I am under no illusions that I can make scarves worth $50.  I was thinking more along the lines of pot holders and washcloths and littler things that I could sell for smaller amounts–pretty much just to pay for the yarn it would take to make them.  I have no desire to be a professional crocheter or knitter, but it would be nice to do something with the things I make and to have something to make when I sit down with my yarn and think “okay, I want to crochet, but I have no idea what I want to produce.”

I also like the idea of selling photos on Etsy–but only because then I would feel less guilty about spending our next sunny day out and about instead of chained to my desk and writing.  After all, if it brings in an income then I’m technically still working, right?  Even if that income is only a couple of bucks (because that’s all I could charge seeing as how my photog skills are still….novice-y)?

This idea is still only a shadow on my brain and might not ever actually happen–but it is fun to think about!

Some of you might remember that I have half-heartedly attempted to start the Couch to 5K Program a few times now, only to crap out on it within a couple of weeks or so.  The truth is that I have been itching to get more active–I don’t know if it’s cabin fever or just having been sedentary for so long but there are times when my muscles are practically screaming at me to get up and move around.  My apartment complex has a workout room that is free for residents to use but this workout room is about the same size as my living room…which would make it very very uncomfortable if two people who did not know each other tried to work out at the same time.  Unlike professional gyms where having a bunch of people around is the norm so there is no pressure to interact, this room is so small that, should you run into someone, not making small talk would just be weird.

I? Am not a fan of small talk–especially while I’m wheezing heavily from trying to exercise (I? am woefully out of shape).  So, um, I kind of avoid the workout room. This? Has put a kink in my plans for getting fit.  Until last night when I thought “Eureka! Wii Fit! Of course!”

I figured it would be a good buy because Will has also been groaning about wanting to get in shape but not wanting to spend the money on a gym membership, and I could continue to avoid the workout room. And, you know, we would get to go shopping for something that is technically a very popular video game. So we went to Best Buy and picked up our very own Wii Fit.

Yes, we are now the proud owners of a snotty Wii Fit.  And I say that because I am convinced that the Wii Fit was programmed to be an asshole.  The first time I stepped onto the board it went “ooph!” as if it were Garfield’s scale or something.  And then it displayed my Wii Fit Age (or whatever its called) in giant numbers and…yeah.  According to Wii Fit even though my weight is fine and my BMI is good, my fitness age is 43.  FORTY THREE.  And then it laughed at me for being so weak for my real age.  Will, of course, out weighs me by a lot (according to their scale he is close to being overweight which, pfft, whatever) and has a much higher BMI but has a Wii Fit age of TWENTY THREE and was hailed as a champion of health.  Damn you Wii Fit!

The actual working out was pretty fun.  I  want to keep playing with it.  Apparently I’m not smart enough to figure out the Dance Dance Revolution-style step aerobics program and am FAR too weak to do the push ups/planks but I broke a sweat, which is good and I ROCKED at the hula hooping.  I can see how, if I weren’t just playing around, it would totally kick my ass and I am mentally preparing myself to have that snotty Wii Fit and it’s “ooph” hand my ass to me on a platter tomorrow.

Will says he’ll use it too but so far it looks like his version of “getting fit with Wii fit” means sitting on the couch, playing WoW and making fun of me.  He is the best cheerleader.

In other news, somehow the hours between putting the Wii Fit away and starting this blog post have completely disappeared and I am not sure how.  I am very glad that  my “cycle of death” is almost over because I really really miss my brain.

One of the worst things about this (aptly dubbed by me yesterday) “Menstrual Cycle of Death” is the fact that nothing in me matches! I have a ton of motivation to get work done, but lack the mental focus to write anything more serious than this blog post.  The sun is shining and there is this great hazy kind of “the weather wants to rain but its bright and warm out” thing happening and it would be a perfect day to take the camera out for a spin, but I lack the energy to do more than lie around on the couch.  I don’t feel very well but I feel guilty for having constructed a blanket nest on the couch (even though my recent trip to Fred Meyer pretty much killed my energy for the day).  Oy.

Moving on.

A couple of weeks ago I signed up for the ProBlogger “31 Days to Build a Better Blog” Challenge.  Today’s challenge is to write a blog post that contains a list.  Yesterday Stephanie Klein issued a challenge to her readers to “tell people about your 5 favorite things today“.  I didn’t read the post until today and I thought, what the hell, two birds with one post! (look, looooook at all of the pretty pretty links! Usually I’m too lazy to do that) So… Here is my list of five favorite things today:

1.  The Sex and the City movie that I purchased during my Fred Meyer trip this morning so that I could clean out my DVR a little–and having to show the cashier my ID to prove that I am old enough to purchase R rated movies without a guardian present.

2.  The new ginormous bag of Hershey Kisses that is sitting up on the microwave just waiting for me to dive into it.

3.  My (guilt inducing but) uber comfortable blanket nest on this here couch.  I am an expert at cozy blanket nests.

4.  My bangs finally being long enough to pull back into my pony tail.  This means that soon I can cut them! [1.  I never wanted to be bang-free, I just wanted to thin them out a little and this was the easiest and healthiest way to do that--grow them out and then re-cut them.]

5.  Naps.  I took a nap this morning and I plan on taking another nap this afternoon.  I might even take one this evening.

What are YOUR five favorite things today?

One of the movie channels, I forget which one, has been showing the Sex and the City movie so…I recorded it onto our DVR and I am a little bit ashamed to say that I have become addicted to the thing.  I had it on while I cleaned the house on Saturday afternoon and as soon as Will left for school today I turned it on and when it ended a few minutes ago I might have hit “Play from Start” on the DVR and started it all over again.  The weird thing? I am not the hugest SATC fan.  Sure I enjoyed the show, but it was never a “must watch.” Right now though, I have to be honest and tell you that it is incredibly difficult to resist buying the entire series on DVD from Amazon.com.

I’m kind of thinking that my (many) repeated viewings of the movie is my own version of “Texas Recovery,” sort of like how Will starts being all “I Am Alpha. Grouch. Grouch. Grouch. Do What I Tell You Woman!” after he spends longer than a few minutes talking to his father ¹.  While Will goes all “I am in charge now! Everyone has to do what I say, bitches!” because we have just spent quite a lot of time having every second of our time dictated by someone who put the Al in Alpha (to the point of ridiculousness sometimes) and he needs to prove to himself that he is in charge of his own life after all, I go all “oh my god I can watch girl shows! And read girl books! And yayyyy!” and turn into…someone who puts the Sex and the City movie on repeat and wonders if she can dye all of her clothing pink. For the record? This would be a very bad idea and have gotten over this part of my overreaction to getting home.

I have no idea how much of that made sense.  My brain is still half asleep from my Sunday of inertia.

So.  If there are any males reading right now they might want to turn away because I’m about to get my Girl Talk on.

Ladies, you know how every few months you get hit with a cycle that just makes you bemoan the fact that you are uterus-clad? The cycle that comes around a few times a year and is just a whole “I hate being a woman” fest? Where it hurts a lot and you get nauseus and feel like you should trade in your usual absorption method for some Depends Diapers (dudes, I told you it was Girl Talk)?  And you want to shop for pregnant pants to accommodate your water/salt baby that has taken up such a dominant residence within your body that even your toenails feel fat? Yeah.  It hit yesterday.  I spent most of yesterday crouched on the futon with my knees under my chin, my forehead on the cushion, my hands near my ankles and my ass up in the air (what? it’s the only comfortable position I could find!).  Apparently I was so pathetic that even Poppy took pity on me because she spent most of the day curled up around my head. Will even took a break from his “because I said so! Penis trumps Vagina! Roar!” Alphaness to rub my lower back and put every ounce of chocolate in the apartment within arm’s reach. And then we spent all day watching whatever came on the movie channels.

Today I feel quite a lot better–enough to sit upright in chairs and on the couch–and managed to get quite a lot done this morning even with Will sitting on the couch playing WoW before he left for school.  Then I forgot just exactly how crazy I am right now and this afternoon I got caught up in looking at the websites of local Wedding Dress shops.

Ladies, in case you do not already know this, DO NOT BEGIN YOUR WEDDING DRESS SHOPPING DURING THE MENSTRUAL CYCLE OF DEATH. Yes, it warranted all caps.  Pretty dresses everywhere and hormones that have convinced you that you are the most hideous creature to walk the earth?  Not a good pairing. Plus, you know, I have been afflicted with my monthly dose of what I’ll just call “Teh Crazy” and do you know what “Teh Crazy” should not read? Wedding dress websites that tell you that your only hope of getting a decent dress to wear on your wedding day requires that you order the dress at least six months to a year before your wedding date.  My wedding is five months and six days.  It took about 0.00000002 seconds for “Teh Crazy” to have me in tears because “I won’t even be able to find a white t-shirt in time for my wedding and it won’t even matter because I won’t be able to wear that white t-shirt because our wedding is on September 12 and you aren’t supposed to wear white after labor day so I’ll have to wear something hideous instead because of the stupid rules and maybe I should just wear my pajamas because what the hell is the point?!?”

Obviously I have recovered and am within site of the Land of the Rational (you know, until I accidentally drop a piece of paper on the floor and become convinced that said droppage is a sure sign that the world is ending) and know that I will find something and, hello, I know plenty of people who can sew so I am sure that I could find something “close” and have one of them help make it perfect.  But seriously.

And peeps, its only Monday.  Run while you can!

Dudes, I don’t know who is more amazed at the fact that I have been back from Texas for a week without having posted about the trip, you or me.  It’s been long enough now that the trip feels almost like it didn’t actually happen, like I was in some weird coma for a week.  The EIGHT LOADS OF LAUNDRY I had to do to get caught up over the last few days and the sugar ants that keep trying to invade however–those are my indication that yes, I did leave my home for eight days and spent those days in the dusty Texas panhandle.

The trip was a good one.  I’m pretty sure it was the best visit yet and I am positive that is due almost entirely to the fact that I refused (REFUSED) to discuss anything even remotely related to politics, current events, philosophy or religion.  Ironically it was Will who got into an hours long screaming match with his Dad over politics while I hid in the other room so that nobody could try to pull me into the “discussion.”

Mostly I sat quietly while Will and his Dad watched shows about guns and shooting and blowing stuff up on the Science and Discovery channels and while we drove to and from the nearest town (which was a little more than an hour’s drive away so this meant many hours in the car on most days) while Will’s Dad ran errands and visited with people that he knew.  My hopes of spending my entire vacation lying around doing nothing were pretty much shot as we only stayed home three out of the eight days we were there but Will got to spend some quality time with his Dad and that was the goal.

I would write more about the trip but I am effing exhausted yo.  This whole week has been one of readjusting to the Pacific Time (Texas is two hours ahead), doing those eight loads of laundry, figuring out my work schedule, learning Will’s school schedule, restocking our food and cleaning supplies, cleaning our home and getting organized again.  Also? I ordered the movie channels from Fios and…um….well….my eyeballs are about ready to fall out!