Because I know that I rely too much upon parenthetical statements I decided to install a plugin that will allow me to do footnotes ala Jen Lancaster‘s books.  ¹²

Today I took the first long shower that I have taken since before New Year’s.  I write that like New Year’s was oh so long ago when it was really only eight weeks or so but when you really like long showers and have been forced to keep yours to five minutes (do you know how hard it is to shampoo and condition long hair in five minutes?) because of a certain ex roommate person who ate (actually, he probably still eats) super cheap re-heated bean burritos every day which made him have to poo every fifteen minutes or so (though he was absolutely convinced that he had IBS because the symptom list at Dr. WebMD told him so) (and really, how many parenthetical statements can I use in a single paragraph of a blog post?) and then, after he moved out, I still had to worry about his showing up to get his stuff.

Now though he is out, his stuff has been picked up and there is no reason for him to show up unexpectedly! And that? Means that I can take long showers if I want to!  Long showers where the hot water runs out! And I can take as long as I want with the drying off, combing out of the hair, lotioning and other whatnotty girly stuff that normal girls do after taking a shower that I’ve had to rush through for weeks.

It was totally what I needed today.  Yay!

I just realized that it is not very likely that I will ever again need to use my created category “life with the MoFo” which kind of makes me a little sad because really? How awesome of a category name is that?

Mostly though I am glad.  The thank God I can finally call him ex-roommate finished picking up his stuff tonight.  He brought his new roommate (isn’t it interesting that the same friend who berated Will so badly STILL wouldn’t let the ex-roommate stay with him?) with him and it took about ten minutes to get the rest of his stuff boxed and out.

Will and I may or may not have closed the door behind him after his last load and then yelled “FREEDOM!” and done happy dances in our kitchen.  I may or may not have announced “I am going to go into the back bedroom.  Why?? Because I can!” and then marched into the back bedroom and shouted “look at all of the space we suddenly have!”

It feels mean to maybe or not have done these things but at the same time…. not so much.  You know?

I’m almost hesitant to write about it because I don’t want to tempt Murphy (as we all know, I am Murphy’s prison bitch) but honestly? It feels like a giant anvil has been lifted off my back.   I might be presented with some new form of stress in the morning but for right now? I’m really relieved.  And almost optimistic!

Also, look! A new theme already!  I really hated not having the posts listed the way the old theme has.  This template isn’t perfect–the comments page looks funky in Mozilla (usually its IE that won’t work correctly) but I can live with that for now!

I have reached…the exhausted place.  You know how after you’ve been through a train wreck’s worth of drama and you know that it will end soon but it isn’t quite done yet and you reach a place where all you want is to just curl up and sleep for a couple of days?  I am so there.  All I want is to carve out a couple of days to lie on the couch, watch television (probably West Wing because I am me) and drift into and out of sleep and maybe eat some stuff.

Obviously I can’t do that just yet.  I have too much to do.

I have a couple of writing projects to finish for clients that got put on the back burner while we dealt with the roommate situation (thank God I have understanding clients).  I’m also going to look for a new site design because I really don’t like that previous posts are just listed by title under the most recent post.  It’s so much harder for readers to catch up.  After the rest of the roommate’s stuff gets moved out I am going to go through the apartment and cleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeean it–sort of like the cleaning I did when we still thought Will’s Dad would be staying with us over Christmas but even deeper since it’s time for my annual cleaning out of the filing cabinet and dresser.  Then at the end of March we’ll be going to Texas for a week.

I am not excited to go to Texas.

Funny story: Last night I sat down on the couch next to Will and begged “after we get back from Texas can we please please please please please please please take a few months for ourselves–not go on any trips, take in any strays or let anybody stay with us for more than a night Please please please please please please please please please please?” and no kidding, I hadn’t even closed my mouth yet when Will got an instant message from one of his friends asking if he could come up this weekend and crash at our place for a few days.

We said yes because we like this friend.  He always pays his own way, cleans up after himself and is pretty easy going.  I can tell him to get lost for a while and he’ll (cheerfully) get lost for a while. And he’s only staying for a few days.  I guess he agreed to take a friend of his to the airport on Saturday and pick her up again on Wednesday and didn’t want to make the six-seven hour round trip twice in five days.  Really, who can blame him? But the timing?  Wow.

You know what?  When I finally do get to have my couple of days’ worth of down time I am going to be the poster child for laziness!

Heard just now in my apartment:

“Okay, I know I can’t publish this but read it before I erase it.”

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  Shmiko ward!”

“I know! It’s damn funny and I can’t use it! This sucks!”

So.  The Drama. And the Story.  And the wow I wish I could spell out every single detail but some of it involves personal details that aren’t really mine to share.   This is my attempt to spell it out without…spelling it out.

The short version is this: he is out.  The bridge, as far as we are concerned, has been burned.  He still has some things here and we have given him until the weekend to come and get them.  If he doesn’t pick them up by then we are either claiming them as our own or tossing them out.  We have had it. Because the drama this single person causes? Holy crap.

I’ve written about the rules we were supposed to draw up already.  The roommate got home early Wednesday afternoon.  He read the rules.  We gave him a chance to ask questions or to talk to us about the rules but he agreed that they were fair (though he wasn’t happy about his not being allowed to be alone in the apartment with me anymore).  He signed the “contract”, took a shower and left.  It seemed like he was in a good mood.

Less than three hours later he is already trying to get out of a couple of the rules.

Around nineish hours after signing the contract Will starts getting bombarded by text messages from Roommate’s friend (who, incidentally has always flat out said no whenever Roommate asked to live with him).  Roommate’s friend starts calling me names to Will via these text messages and saying that I’m rude and that our contract is crap.  The “conversation” moves to instant messenger where the friend proceeds to keep Will (and I because I wasn’t going to leave Will to deal with it alone) awake until TWO A.M.  He called Will names, called me names, came thisclose to calling me a liar, insulted my Mom and kept demanding explanations for the rules on the contract–the contract that not half a day earlier had been deemed fair.  The worst part of it was when he said that Will was not a man because he was defending me instead of telling me to go to hell and letting the roommate continue to do whatever he wanted.

So that was not fun.

The next afternoon (this past Thursday), while Will was in class, the roommate starts text messaging Will, and would. not. stop.  Somewhere in the neighborhood of thirty text messages got sent to Will in around seventy to eighty minutes.  The roommate went on and on about how he shouldn’t have to follow the rules of the contract, that I freaked out on him (apparently repeatedly) and talked to him like he was beneath me.  He said that we were just trying to kick him while he was down and that we were trying to punish  him and make him feel like a criminal.  The dude would not leave Will alone.  About halfway through the text message parade, Will calls me and tells me to get the roommate’s stuff together.

So, yeah, the roommate is out.  Most of his stuff is still here.  He kept putting off coming to get it and then had the audacity to ask Will if he could keep it here but could he please stop by to get some clothes.  Will told him that we are not a storage unit and, when the roommate showed up to pick up his clothes, laptop and XBox, Will told him that he has until this weekend to get the rest of it or we’ll either keep it or throw it out. He said he’d be here tonight (Monday) but we haven’t heard from him at all. Big surprise.

Oh and apparently he deleted me from his messenger list.  Look at me.  Soooo Sad.  I should cry.  Or not. Who knew that asking a person who was taking advantage of you to start acting like a decent human being was such a horrible thing to do?

To be honest, I have not yet begun to relax after everything.  I probably won’t until all of the roommate’s stuff is out of my home and I don’t have to worry about him anymore–though at the rate at which rumors are spreading about us through Will’s social circle… that might take a while.

Will says that we aren’t going to take in any more strays unless we’ve both known them forever, like them and they are mentally stable.  Here’s to hopin’!

In happier news I am now the proud owner of both “stupidcrazydrama.com” and “makethedramastop.com”.  I’m not entirely sure what I’ll do with them but after the last couple of weeks I could not resist buying both domain names.

The short version: The roommate? Should have the rest of his stuff moved out tomorrow night, but he said maybe so he’ll probably cancel on us again and again until we threaten to just throw it out.

The long version: Will have to wait until tomorrow because so far today is looking pretty low key and I do not want to jinx it by inviting trouble.

Honestly? I’ve had enough drama so far this year to last me a few lifetimes!  No more please!

Drama drama drama drama drama drama drama drama drama drama drama drama drama drama drama drama drama drama drama drama drama drama drama.

It has to stop.  I’m going to get an ulcer (if I don’t already frickin’ have one).

*Sigh*

Today’s blog post wasn’t written by me, though it certainly does speak to something that has been on my mind recently.  The post was written as part of the Blog Share project thought up by -R- at And You Know What Else? The idea behind the project is pretty neat.  So read on and give this person a lot of comment love!  Oh and after the post there is a list of other blogs (including mine) that are participating this time around if you want to check out some more awesome writing.

Here is my anonymous poster’s post:

I decided – or realized? – this December that all I want in life is to be happy. That’s it. That’s all. Nothing more and nothing less. Okay, well maybe disgustingly happy. That would be alright. But I don’t care about fancy cars and millions of dollars in a Swiss bank account. I don’t need an executive-level job, I don’t want designer clothes. I just want to be happy.

But try as I might, through all the soul-searching … I can’t for the life of me figure out what that is. How I get there. What I need to reach that point. And really, how can I get there if I don’t even know where the destination is. It’s not like you can set your GPS to “Happy Ness” (like Loch Ness). No, that would be too easy.

But then, I wonder. Does everyone “get” to BE happy? Or is that a luxury reserved for just a select few? All those sappy smiling faces in Christmas cards and Facebook profiles… are they special? Or were they just patient? What did they do to deserve that, and what did I miss? Sure I  have a  “whole lifetime” to get to that point, but time slips away so quickly it seems. Just yesterday it was summer, just the week before that, university. If the past slips between your fingers with such ease, then the future must as well.

Sometimes I take an analytical view of happiness. I look at those who I “want to be” … those lives I want to live, and I dissect what they have in common.

And the common denominator seems to be finding that “perfect someone” and raising that “ideal family?” Why do we define happiness by these things? And I’m not talking about what we see in the media and toxic magazines (well, maybe I am, how much are our world views shaped by those exterior forces anyways… but I digress). I’m talking about the people I see as having “it all” … why do they all have serious, committed, relationships, budding families and peaceful lives.

None of this constant questioning of who they are, why they bother, and reaching for the “next” – whatever that is.

Maybe the problem begins with the fact that I don’t really know who I am. That I’m just constantly conflicting myself. How can I possibly nail down what I want, when I can’t even decide who I am.

It changes with the weather, with the audience, with the day. I never thought I was fickle, but I am. Not in my relationships (no, when I love I love hard and fast and with unstoppable passion), but in my actions, in my feelings, in what I do and how I react to situations.

Take Valentine’s Day.

First, a bit of context. I am dating someone right now. We’ve been together for almost a year. But things have cooled off a bit recently. We are still together, but we recognize that there are exterior forces that mean we’re not exactly going to be getting married in the next year… or really the near future… but we enjoy each others’ company, we get along very well, and well… there’s chemistry.

So Valentine’s day came and went. Without even a “good morning, happy V-day” or a lame little e-card or anything. It was like it NEVER HAPPENED. And I was torn. Kind of.

Part of me wants to be wooed. Part of me wants a special gentleman to present me with a bouquet of flowers – or just a single rose – and a simple, yet incredibly romantic “I love you” and maybe a dinner at home.

I, in return, would list the many ways and reasons why I love him back. Why he’s special, and why I can’t imagine my life without him.

Not an engagement ring. Not expensive jewelery. Just a simple, touching reminder of what two people mean to each other.

But the other part of me is cynical. Valentine’s day is a Hallmark holiday. It creates tension and dashed hopes. It’s cliche. Cynical-me ex-nay-ed the letter… that absolutely disgusting profession of love and adoration because it’s “silly.”

So which one is “me”? Am I the hopeless romantic, or the hardened cynic?

Will I be the natural, hopeless romantic if I’m with the “right guy”? Or will I always second-guess myself, my intentions, my feelings?

Who the hell am I? And when do I get to figure that out? And when I DO figure that out… does that mean I can begin the real pursuit of happiness? And where will that lead me? And what lies in between? More of this ambiguous identity and happiness purgatory?

I know there’s no quick solution. I know there’s no magic-pill fix. But really, believe me when I say I would do anything just to be happy. Just to be one of those shiny smiley faces, with only the “normal” worries, and “normal” fears…

Not this constant questioning of self. I’ve had enough of that.

***

Here is a list of the other blogs that are participating:

And You Know What Else
Andrea Unplugged
Blue Soup
Bright Yellow World
Bwildered
Caity of the Keps
Catheroominations
Citystreams
Daily Tannenbaum
Did I Say That Outloud?
Dispatches From The Failed Mommy Club
Face Down
For The Long Run
Full Of Snark
Heidikins
In Java, Literally
Just Below 63
LizLand
Malfeasance
A New Duck
NonSoccer Mom
The North Is My Snowcone
Not The Daddy
Operation Pink Herring
Pants, Pants, Pants
Red Red Whine
Sassy Buster
Sauntering Soul
Shushing Action
Snarke
Snow-Covered Hills
Swimming With Sharks
Thinking Some More
Trueish Story
Way Way Up
Whiskey Marie

Do you ever have things that you want to post, and kind of need to post to see what other people out there think but at the same time are hesitant to post because doing so could totally bite you in the ass later on?

That is kind of where I am at today.

We had a great weekend with my Mom and the visiting and the good food and the hanging out with someone who is not our bitchy moody roommate.  I even managed to have a great day yesterday because I had the place to myself for a while.  The roommate being gone-ness, though…. that might come to an end soon.  He might be back tonight.  I do not know.  We are waiting to receive word from….the place he went on Thursday night.  (Thursday? Was all sorts of full of dramarama)

Because we are torn on whether or not to even have the roommate back, we were advised to come up with a set of rules that the roommate would have to agree to before being invited back and that we could use to kick him out in the future.  Guess who got to do that today while she was working out quotes for projects with clients?  I guess it is only fair because Will wants so badly to be nice and supportive even though he is so frustrated with all of this that not even killing thousands of zombies in whatever video game he just downloaded can make him feel better.  For the record, I didn’t want to come up with a list at all, I just wanted to be “okay, you’re done.  Here’s your computer.  Bye.”  But I did my best not to make the list to crazy specific.  Seriously?  It took some serious restraint not to include a rule about how roommate is not allowed to think or speak or breathe while in my presence.  And even so? The list, just the basic sort of considerations that any normal person would understand but for some reason we have to spell out? Is three pages long.

I think there is something wrong with me. Apparently brevity is not my source of wit.

Anyway, when Will gets home he is going to look over the list to make sure that I didn’t include a “if your hair is messy you have to go” clause and together we’ll come up with something that we can both live with.

Honestly though–how is all of this still going on?  Please universe, I would like to get back to my boring old life wherein the only drama I encountered was contained within the pretty silver box on my television stand.

In other news, tomorrow I will be posting the Blog Share post!  I got it today and it is goooood.  I have no idea who wrote it, but I think you’ll like it!

So, if you’ve read me for a while you know that I am more likely to go quiet and absent when things in my 3-D life get a wee bit crazy or busy.  The last few days? Wow.  Some of it I can talk about.  Some of it I better not.  Thankfully the stuff I can talk about is good, so this isn’t going to be a total downer post!

So:  I have been busy because this weekend my Mom came up to visit us!  She came up for Valentine’s Day/President’s Day weekend and just left this morning.  Will deep fried a turkey (which makes me happy because now the thing is out of my freezer) and we watched many movies and ate much good food.  We also took her out to show her where we decided to get married (a link in a future post, I promise).

In other awesome news, pretty soon there is going to be an anonymous guest poster on this blog because I decided to participate in this round of Blog Share.  The idea is that another blogger will write a post that he/she might not usually post on his/her blog and I’ll publish it here.  The blogger will stay anonymous but will be sent a link to my site so that he/she can read whatever responses there happen to be to the post.  At the same time I will write a blog post of my own that will get published somewhere else.  A lot of bloggers I read and like participated last time and it was really interesting so I decided to do it this time around.

This morning was meant to be a get back to work morning but I have been so enjoying having the apartment to myself for a while (this is part of the stuff I cannot go into detail about, don’t *I* just suck for being all cagey) that instead of getting to work and putting my desk back together (it got turned back into a kitchen table for all of the food we ate all weekend) I’ve just sort of been wandering around and saying “ahhhhhh quiet.”  And so my “get back to work morning” will more than likely turn into a “get back to work afternoon/evening” because when Will is done with class he wants to go over to Best Buy to check out the President’s Day sale…which could be a dangerous outing since Will at Best Buy is the equivalent of me in a library.