One of my college professors, Dr. Ardavan Davaran (or Ardy as most knew him), passed away this morning.  Those of you who know me probably already know that college was not the easiest or happiest of times for me and that were it not for a few friends and a few excellent (and very patient) teachers I probably would not have gotten as far as I did.

My favorite memories of Dr. Davaran are not of his classes (because as a teacher he scared the living crap out of me) but of seeing him on campus and after the theater shows.  It’s hard not to like a person who tells you that you are brilliant every time they see you and, if they get a hold of you, will pull you over to someone else and say “have you met this girl? She should teach my classes! She’s the smartest one in the room!”  The beet redness of my blushing face  and not so subtle attempt at yanking my arm out of his grip only encouraged him.  “I’m serious! She’s amazing! You should talk to her and you’ll see! She’s brilliant!”  And he was that way with everyone.  Always a smile, always interested in whatever we were doing, and just a wee bit crazy. He forced us all to be accountable for ourselves and to push ourselves outside of our comfort zones which, when you are 19 is not so fun but when you’re 30 and looking back on it all is really cool.

Somewhere right now Dr. Davaran is at a cocktail party for literary geniuses.  He’s probably gabbing Shakespeare’s ear off and when Anne Bradstreet wanders by he’ll snag her by the elbow and say “Bill! Have you met this woman? She’s wonderful! You have to talk to her! She’ll impress you out of your socks! You should take her out on a date!”

I’m about to get to work for the day (after making a rather unfortunate decision to have warmed up pizza for breakfast that I will probably regret for many hours) but I thought that, rather than waiting for the end of the day, I’d start my day off with a blog post.

Last night I crawled into bed and realized that I have been varying degrees of annoyed for almost all of 2009.  Sure the year is not quite a month old, but still.  I have been annoyed for a very very long time.  And most of my annoyance comes from a central point of irritation.  Yes people, I am talking about the “roommate.”

I debated whether or not to post about this because, well, it feels like I’m pulling you to the side of a high school hallway to trade whispered back stabbing gossip.  At the same time, it’s my blog dammit and if I cannot vent to my blog peeps then who?

I don’t know.  Maybe it’s me.  Maybe, with the exception of Will and any future offspring we spawn, I am just not cut out to be a roommate.  I’m not a huge fan of sharing.  Or cleaning up after others.  Or having someone else touch my stuff.  Or being quiet because someone else decides to sleep in until one thirty in the afternoon.  Or being teased by someone whose response to reciprocal teasing is “you don’t have to be so rude” followed by forty five minutes of pouting.

The most recent flashes of white hot “I want to punch him in the faceness” come from two different situations.

The most recent, and lesser annoyance, happened last night.  Will and I were watching a rerun of House while we waited for the Daily Show to come on.  “Roommate” plops down on the futon with his laptop and starts watching YouTube videos super loudly–drowining out the television.  I feel Will sigh and I try not to scream and start tearing out my hair in tufts (ala Turk in Scrubs).  When it comes time to switch the channel to Comedy Central, I look at the “roommate” (not sure why I stopped calling him by his name) and say “I have a spare set of headphones if you want to borrow them.”  This was said in a perfectly friendly tone and even with a smile.  I figured it would be a good compromise–we could watch what we wanted and he could watch his videos.  His response? “Why do you have to say shit like that? That’s not necessary.”  When I explained to him that we were about to watch the Daily Show he said “well then just say that next time.  God.” And then proceeded to pout for the next half an hour, sighing loudly whenever we would laugh at something Jon Stewart said.

The other, and more annoying conversation came a couple of days ago when Will and I were watching the season premiere of Lost, which we had saved on the DVR so that roommate could watch it with us (we got him addicted).  Dude. would. not. shut. up.  “That’s dumb!” “That would never happen!” “Oh my god that guy’s an idiot nobody would ever believe that!” followed by “wait, what did he say?”  and “what’s going on?” Even Will was starting to clench his fists.  Finally, to keep one of us from pummelling him I said “why don’t you just watch the show?  If you’d stop talking and pay attention you would understand what is going on.”  To which he replied “I am not going to change who I am just to suit you.”  And the you? Was said in that….tone.  You know the one I’m talking about.  For my own credit, I did not go buy a bat with which to pummel him.  I didn’t even say anything back.  I just raised my eyebrows at Will and left the room.

The thing is, I know why he’s doing it.  It is classic “I don’t have to do what anybody says” moodiness that is meant to show his ex-wife that he doesn’t care what she thinks and that she has no control over him.  Unfortunately because she is not here, it’s being taken out on us.  I understand this in my brain.  I also understand that if it doesn’t stop soon I won’t be able to be rational about it and simply leave the room.  I’ll lose my temper and spew a bunch of anger-ridden crap and we probably won’t be friends after that and, even though the guy is annoying as hell and I want him out of my house like yesterday, I don’t want to ruin a friendship.  Especially since, technically, it’s Will’s friendship and just mine by proxy.

So today it is not snowing, but I am playing catch up and have decided to build another blanket nest on the couch.  Grey’s Anatomy is playing in the background and the living room is filled with so much estrogen that hopefully the roommate will decide just to play video games in the other room because I? Could really use a break.

Last night I went to bed thinking “tomorrow I am going to get up.  I am going to hit the treadmill and the stair stepping thing and then I am going to work all day and get ahead of my to-do list.”

This morning I woke up thinking “okay self, get up and go hit that work out room.”  Then Will looked out the window and said “hey, it snowed!” and my thoughts went from motivated and ready to get up to “eff that noise” and by ten this morning I had built myself quite an awesome blanket nest on the couch.

Seriously, being able to work from a blanket nest on my couch is one of my favorite things about freelance writing.

I just microwaved some left over taco meat for lunch, put it back in the refrigerator, took a drink of soda and then spent fifteen minutes tearing apart my kitchen and living room trying to locate the taco meat that had somehow disappeared from the microwave.

Hello Monday, it’s nice to see you again!

On Saturday my blog turned five years old-which you can’t really tell because I took down all of the archives when I relaunched seven (almost eight) months ago.  It’s hard to believe that it was that long ago that I sat down full of pretention and “damn it I am going to make a website that will Say Something Important” and five years later I still regularly sit down to…well, okay I hope that most of the pretention is gone and my whole “I will Say Something That Matters” has become more of a “I hope someone thinks this is funny” but…still. Five years!  I was trying to come up with a big ol’ “wow, what a five years it has been” post but everything I could think of expounding on sounded contrite.  So instead I will leave you with this list:

In the last five years I have:

Had five jobs (though two of those jobs were with the same company just in different locations)

Moved three times

Visited ten different states (in about as many days)

Been invited to six weddings

Attended four of them

Had one serious boyfriend

Who turned into one fiance

Watched approximately 1,3o9,846,509,389,569,088 hours of television

Read many many books

Voted in two Presidential Elections

Written well over a thousand blog posts

What a five years it has been!

It’s official.  We have a roommate now.

After President Obama (yeah, that isn’t ever going to not be thrilling to type) gave his inaugural address on Tuesday, Bryan went back down to Roseburg for the day to get the rest of his stuff.  He got back yesterday afternoon and spent yesterday and today setting up “his” room (aka half of our computer room).

To be honest, it is super nice to have him off of the couch.  I felt a lot better this morning knowing that I could bumble around without having to worry about waking him up and it felt like I had gotten some of my personal space back.  Of course that could have been the only five hours of sleep talking, but we’ll chalk it up to something positive.

So, am I the only one who has kept tuning in regularly to one of the 24/7 News Networks to watch as President Obama (eeeee!) gives his first executive orders?  Am I the only one going “wow, he’s not wasting any time? Awesome!” ?

While the rest of the blogosphere is gushing about inspiration and being moved (and yes, I know I did my fair share on Tuesday), I thought I would share with you my hands down favorite funny moment of the inauguration which was:

During Rick Warren’s (long ass) invocation when the camera landed on Joe Biden just as he lifted his head a little bit and opened one eye to see if the prayer was over and then quickly closing the eye again and lowering his head when he realized that it was still going strong with no end in sight.

For me, that is the moment that will always stand out in my memory.  I’m not sure what that says about me, but there you go.

After sleeping in the living room for a couple of weeks Bryan finally went down to Roseburg to get his stuff and “move in” to the computer room.  He’s back now and it took about thirty seconds for him to set up his XBox 360 and thirty more seconds for he and Will to create their own computer network between Bryan’s computers, Will’s desktop and laptop computers, the Xbox 360 and the Play Station 3.

Guess what is happening in my house right now?

Will is accessing his computer via the PS3 and showing Bryan and their friend Blaine all of the digital movies that he and his World of Warcraft buddies took while they downed bosses and ownaged things (or whatever it is those geeks do)…on the living room television set.

Yep, Will can now access World of Warcraft stuff via the television.

Let’s not ask me how I feel about this mmmkay?

Last night I could not get to sleep.  I felt sort of like I felt as a kid on the night before school started or on Christmas Eve or any other sort of night when you try to sleep but can’t because you have been waiting for the next morning for months.

I tried my hardest not to get attached to Barack Obama.  I tried to not pay any attention to him.  I tried so hard not to care and damnit all  it took was one speech and I was done.  I loved Obama.  If I had the time or the money I would have campaigned full time for Obama in the primary.  When he walked out onto the stage to accept the nomination at the Democratic National Convention, I bawled my eyes out because I was so proud of my party.  I was so proud to be a Democrat that day.  The pride I had for my party was so strong it was almost painful.

I followed the general election closely.  I drove Will up the wall.  I watched as closely as I could stomach but I did not allow myself to even hope for a second that Obama would get elected.  I had learned my lesson in 2000 and 2004.  I wouldn’t even consider the idea that Obama could win, no matter how much I hoped I would be proved wrong.

When the election was called for Barack Obama, my living room erupted in very shrill screams as my friends hooted and hollered and screamed and clapped and I sat stunned thinking “holy crap, it actually happened.”  When Obama gave his victory speech tears dripped down my face and fell into my pizza.  I was quiet, stunned and shocked that something I hadn’t dared to hope for could have actually happened.   “My guy” had won.  I was so proud that my country had come together and accomplished what they had accomplished.  My heart was swollen with joy and pride and I wasn’t sure how all of that pride and joy was contained within a single human body.

This morning I sat in my living room and watched as the Obamas were met by the Bushes.  I did not cry as Michelle Obama handed Laura Bush the gift.  I felt joyful and excited but also quiet and steady and ready to watch my new President take his oath and make it real.  I did not cry as Obama entered the chamber or when he was announced and walked down the steps of the Capitol building.  My eyes were dry as Joe Biden was sworn in, through Aretha Franklin, through “Tis a Gift to be Simple” (or whatever its actual name is) and as Obama took his oath of office.  I got a tiny bit choked up as he gave his speech, but I did not cry. I was proud.  I was ready.

It wasn’t until the Senate luncheon that it fully hit me.  When they announced the arrival of “President Barack Obama” and played Hail to the Chief for the first time as he walked into the luncheon I. Lost. My. Shit.

My shit has not fully been recovered.  I’ve sat here watching the MSNBC coverage for most of the day and every once in a while it all hits me again and I lose any little bit that I might have gathered up.

Today I am bursting with pride and joy.  My seams, they cannot hold all of it in.

The winner of the super fabulous Pepsi Giveaway is commenter Dan!

This morning I wrote everyone’s names down on star shaped post its and tossed them into a bowl (as it was early and I didn’t want to wake up the people sleeping in my living room (grrr) with the rustling of a paper bag and dudes I just did a parenthetical statement in a parenthetical statement) and drew Dan’s name out of the bowl!

Unfortunately Dan does not have his own blog or website so I cannot put up a link to him, but he will be getting an awesome package in the mail soon (thankfully I am not responsible for the snail mailing of this stuff otherwise soon would have an entirely different meaning)!

There is more to write about the goings on of Snarkeland, but it is late and I feel an intense urge to go play with some yarn.

Congratulations Dan!

Okay my dear Internet readers, I have the awesomest news:

Last week, right after I put up my contact form, I got an e-mail from a woman (I’m not sure if I’m allowed to name her or not, so I’ll play it safe) who works for Weber Shandwick with a contest offer!  This is awesome for two reasons: 1) I have never had anybody offer me anything to give away on my site before and 2) The offer is for Pepsi stuff.  PEPSI.  As in the caffeinated goodness that flows through my veins instead of blood because I drink so much of it.  As in holy crap, IT’S PEPSI.  Offering stuff to giveaway on my little site! So without further ado:

Here is the prize: The Ultimate Pepsi Super Bowl Party Pack: • 1 football • 1 beverage pail • 1 snack helmet • 2 key chains • 2 hats • 2 t-shirts • 5 Pepsi 24 pack coupons • 5 Frito Lay coupons

Neat, right?  I put it in bold because it is exciting!

Here is how to win:  Leave a comment in the comments section of this post before Sunday night telling us about your favorite Superbowl Commercial of all time! It doesn’t have to be Pepsi-related (hello, who can forget the Budweiser frogs?), just as long as it originally aired during the Superbowl it qualifies. Don’t worry about repeating, as long as it is Superbowl commercial-related, your name will get entered into my magic prize paper bag.  On Monday morning I will pick a name out of the paper bag!

Here’s the legal stuff:  Must be a US resident to win (their rules, sorry outside of US readers!).  Can’t be related to me (my rule to keep the shady-ness at bay). Must be old enough to enter a contest without needing a signed note from a legal guardian.  Must feel comfortable e-mailing me your mailing address if you win (because I’ll send that on to the prize people and they will mail you your prize).

Honestly, I’m so excited! My very first giveaway, how exciting is this?!?